He strolled into the bar, real casual like,
new black leathers from head to toe.
His brand new, shiny, soft-tail bike,
said more than we needed to know.
From a stool he asked "Do you have Bombay Gin?"
(Our bartenders nickname is "Beanie"
on account of the of the skull plate the doctors put in.)
From Bean this dude ordered a martini.
Well, I thought Beanie would surely blow,
but instead he just smiled and said, "Sure.
One dry martini, I'll make it just so.
Would you like that shaken or stirred."
"Shaken", he said, then winked at ole Bean,
and asked "Who's that pretty young gal?"
Beanie looked down the bar at the girl he had seen,
and said ,'Why that my friend, that's Sexy Sal.
Red hair and tight jeans of black leather,
that fit real close to her skin/
A halter top, perfect for warm weather.
but it barely reined her all in.
She smiled and winked at leather-boy
who had now slipped down by her side
He said "Howdy miss, my name is Roy.'
Would you like to go for a ride?"
Now we all were smirkin and doin a dance;
we had seen all of this before.
When Sal asked, " Would you like get in my pants?"
Roy's jaw dropped clean to the floor.
"Here's the deal boy, now please listen up.
I have my own bike parked outside.
We'll ride for an hour Roy, and if you can keep up.
That soft-tail ain't all you will ride."
Ole Beanie couldn't hold it in much more,
I thought his skull plate would explode.
As Roy and Sal walked out the door.
We went into full laughter mode.
Outside Sal jumped on her black V-Rod
Leather-Roy jumped on his new red ride
She thundered away like the wrath of God,
He dumped his new bike on its side.
When he finally got it back upright,
Sal was a good mile down the road.
Roy tried to keep her in his sight.
but he just couldn't carry that load.
Sal came back a, big smile on her face
Sat down and said, "Great ride boys.
I went down the canyon for this little race,
but what the hell happened to Roy?"
We never did see Roy there again
He never again showed his face.
He never appeared asking Beanie for gin.
I assume because of that race.
To win that race, Leather-boy had no chance
Everyone in that bar knew full well
For a boy like Roy to get into those pants,
Well, it would be a cold day in hell.
Old Roy had it coming, most people say.
He needed his male ego jarred.
Sal took it to him in her special way.
She's a rider--Sexy Sally rides hard!
copyright 2007 Bill "uglicoyote" Davis
2 comments:
OMG! Bill, this is hilarious! I just had to email this to some friends.
Great story, I can picture Roy in his slick new leathers trying to pick up that softtail all alone.
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